Sometimes parents are sent home to wait for natural labor, or not scheduled to deliver for days or a week later. We would not recommend waiting to induce. The longer baby is in your body after going to Heaven, the more it could effect their physical appearance and makes them more delicate. If your Doctor is delaying induction, or you have lost baby early in pregnancy and were told to wait for your body to pass baby on its own, we recommend asking for labor to be induced same day.
Things for Baby
You can bring anything you have bought for baby to the hospital with you (stuffed animals, blankets, Moses basket, a couple changes of clothing/hats). If you are already at the hospital, ask someone can bring them, or purchase some at a near by store.
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Once Baby is Born
Once baby is born you can keep them in the room with you. Ask for a baby bed if you need a place to set baby. Take your time with baby. Some parents like to gently bathe baby, sing to them, read a baby book you read during pregnancy, pray with friends and family. Do what you feel is the best way to spend your time with baby.
Photography
Take MANY photos. It may seem like a task now, but you will treasure them later. Use a camera rather than a cellphone to get better quality, take your photos in color. It may seem like a chore in the moment, but all mothers who have had a baby loss, we ourselves included, would say you cant have too many photos. You will understand later.
- Take photos of Parents holding baby, Family Members Holding baby, Baby wrapped in Blanket, Umbilical Cord, while getting foot prints, while being bathed.
- Take close ups of hand and feet, face and hair (if they have it).
- Taking photos soon after baby is born is recommended (as changes in appearance can happen).
- If you have friends or family take photos you may want them to do it on your camera, so they are all in one spot and all in your care.
- Ask your nurse or family member to stay a while and take photos of you with baby.
- Contact a volunteer from NILMDTS for free black and white professional bereavement photos of baby.
You can invite all that feel comfortable coming. It will help them have a connection with baby, and will be helpful for you to have loved ones around. Do make sure you and daddy get some alone time with baby either before they get there or after they leave.
-If your hospital provides you with anything (teddy, blanket, hat) even if items are too big, try to use them. This way you will have more material items to feel connected with baby.
-Parents are often given a tiny "gold" ring. If your baby is very tiny, just have them hold it, or wear it as a bracelet.
-If your baby is not too delicate, you may want to ask if they do 3D hand and foot casting
-If your baby is full term you may want to keep a lock of hair
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Some More Things you might want to know...
Baptism
You can have baby baptized. Just call and ask if that is something your Church does.
Medical Testing
If you have do not know cause of loss, you may want karyotype/genetic testing. This is the only time to get a sample from baby, so talk to your Doctor if that is what you want (be sure to order the results of any testing).
How to Tell People
Some Families share a specialized baby announcement with the usual inclusions (Name, Birth Date, Weight, Height), with a post explaining a little about what happen through social media. This is a good way to avoid people asking about the baby (not knowing what happen). We can help you make one of these announcements if you would like. Just contact us.
Have someone tell people in advanced like your Church, work place, or children's school.
Funeral and Cremation
You can have a funeral or cremation for a baby born at ANY gestation. The funeral home can pick up baby after you leave, or sometimes when your being discharged. Just make sure to let them know you don't want baby picked up before you are leaving the hospital. This way you can spend more time with baby.
PLEASE read Choices and Financial Assistance for Making Arrangements